As 2020 comes to a close, I will say that I am in a vastly different place than I was last year at this time. However, it's not a bad different. It's just different.
Did bad things happen this year? Of course, but they had to happen for the cream to rise to the top. And let me tell you, I've risen to heights I never expected to see.
I had plans for this year. Plans that would have ensured I didn't see the shit that went down, but I did this thing where I found myself trying new things, exploring myself more, and really liking the woman that I am.
1) I let go of what I thought I wanted. I let the universe lead me where I needed to be. And while it isn't set in stone because it isn't finished, I rest secure in the fact that in the vast world, I am loved.
2) I embarked on this journey that took me so far out of my comfort zone, yet landed me...in a whole new comfort zone. I signed up for a boudoir session, stripped down to almost nothing, and found the sexy woman everyone else sees. When I became an Ambassador, the more photos that were taken, the more comfortable and freer I felt. And as much as I hated having my photo taken, I loved the experience and the results take my breath away.
(Photo by Maria Muniz Vera of Fifty Shades of Confidence)
3) I started the FB group. We have 17 members and while we are still growing, we are creating bonds that will only grow stronger with time. I am watching friends from my past connecting with my current friends and while I hate that we all have issues about ourselves that we don't like, I love that it has brought us all together. I see these women whom I adore lifting each other up and supporting each other. It is such a beautiful thing to witness.
4) I began the outline for a book (a couple actually) and after speaking with a friend, I have a couple of other things I want to try. See what comes of it. I am feeling like someone has thrown some wood on the hot coals inside of me and the fire has taken hold.
I was in a much different mindset last year at this time. Just kind of muddling through, accepting the life I had as all I was gonna have. Not seeing the bigger picture laid out before me.
My mom has told me for years, "Kim, let go and let God. If you'd quit trying to steer things and let Him, you'd end up where you're supposed to be a lot sooner." But, I didn't listen because I know best, right? 48 and a half years later... I'm getting comfortable in my own skin, I'm learning to love myself for WHO I am and not waiting until I'm the perfect size, and I'm dreaming again, writing again, and, by all I hold holy, I just might change the world yet!
So, let me remind you...you are the most powerful person in your life. Changing the world starts by changing yourself, your mind-set, and taking back your power. It doesn't have to mean holding political office or winning the Nobel Prize. You are powerful when you are a friend, a sister, a daughter, a partner, or a mom who says, "I will not let this situation win. Today, I may rest, but tomorrow, I will rise."
And that is exactly what we will do...like the phoenix, we will rise. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but we will rise!