There is a trend on TikTok where people ask "Can we skip to the good part?" Whether it is pregnancy to baby, no make up to full glam, snow to spring, or no decorations to a fully decorated home, people are posting videos that skip to the fun stuff in life.
Please don't misunderstand me! Skipping the work, the hard stuff, the teachable moments...that sounds incredible!! However, life isn't about the arrival from Point A to Point B. It's about the journey. Each footstep on life's path is teaching us something.
Let me tell you about my past year to help you understand:
In the middle of a pandemic, I met The Man of Discerning Taste...online. We messaged and shared pictures, thoughts, ideas, and our dreams for the future. I knew he was in the military and that he'd be deploying when we started this. If I'm honest, I didn't think he'd last. There are younger, more beautiful women than me and they'd catch his eye, leaving me on my own again. Or so I told myself.
He got ready to deploy and I cried. I had fallen in love with this man, heart and soul. When he asked, "Will you wait for me?," my heart tumbled. 5 simple words, but I had waited a lifetime to hear them. I, of course, said, "Yes!"
Did I want to skip to the good part? Absolutely! The part where he's home, safe and sound. But he had things to do and I needed to learn to trust as well as work on me.
In the time that he's been gone, I've worked at jobs I've hated. I've had to defend my relationship to people who truly didn't deserve it. I've isolated myself (yes, sometimes intentionally) from those who love me. I've cried a lot of tears. I've laughed a lot with him. And I've accepted that at the age of 49 and counting, I'm ready to become a full-fledged military wife.
Had I skipped to the good part, I'd have missed the lessons, the tears I shed, the support of this man who has been there no matter what. I learned to stand on my own when I can, to lean on my partner, to not be embarrassed by my lack of knowledge. I've learned that I need to keep my circle tighter and remember that unless someone has been in my shoes, there is no way they can possibly understand the dynamics within a military relationship. But most of all, had we skipped over the rough spots and the arguments, we wouldn't have been able to fix the cracks in the foundation of our relationship. As I sit here writing this today, I know that I am planning a future with my best friend. Life isn't going to be easy and there will be more tears shed over our lifetime together, but with his hand in mine, we can accomplish so much.
So for me? This is the good part! The growth. The maturing. The changing. The becoming of who I am meant to be.
And when The Man of Discerning Taste steps his feet down on US soil, we'll begin this adventure and see where we end up.
So, maybe, instead of trying to skip ahead to enjoy only the good stuff, try enjoying the entire journey. Because how can we enjoy the roses if there aren't a few thorns? Or the rainbow if there's no rain? Or the very best of life if there aren't some struggles?
I wish you all a bright and happy 2022! Thank you for sticking with me on this journey so far!