In this amazing group that I'm blessed to be part of, we have been showing pictures of the parts of ourselves that we despise most. Yes, honestly, taking selfies of our "bat wings", "mom bellies", and any other possible part we hate. Then, we share them with each other. Want to know what I've noticed? It doesn't matter what size you wear or how thin/heavy you are, we all have things we hate about ourselves.
Want to know something else I discovered? That I look at these pictures and I am thinking to myself, "But that's part of what makes you beautiful." Every single one of these ladies is just so beautiful. Yet, I cannot show myself the same love and courtesy that I show these other women. And that really makes me pause.
Someone I know once said that anytime she tries clothes on in a dressing room, she purposefully cuts her head out of the pic, then critiques the outfit like she would for a stranger. Instead of pointing out the flaws with her own body, she is able to look at the clothes and how they fit the body in the picture.
I can look in the mirror and find a million flaws, but what would happen if I looked in the mirror and saw the things that truly mattered? The fact that my eyes shine with delight when I hear my guy tell me that he loves me. Or how I can make my best friend laugh until she pees herself (It's happened!). Or what about the fact that every time I see a veteran, I stop for a moment to say "Thank you for your service" because I was taught that it matters. Or that despite being overweight and out of shape, my heart knows how to love, my mind is sharp, my smile is usually quick to show, and I know how to hustle for what I want in this life. As quick as the man in my life is able to say, "I love you, babe," what if I were as quick to tell the woman in the mirror that I love her? Or as often as I tell another woman how beautiful she is, what if I turned that back on myself? How much different would my life be? How much different would yours be?
We often talk about fixing another Queen's crown without telling her it needs fixing, but we need to also straighten our own crowns. Own that we are the Queens our partners know we are, our children revere (and trust me, they will if they don't already), and the world sees despite how we feel about ourselves.
One of my favorite memes says, "If you were asked to name the things that you love, how long would it take you to name yourself?" I know there are days (most days) when I wouldn't even make the list. What about you? Where do you fall on the list of things you love?