I've been struggling recently. What I think is sexy and what others think is sexy don't line up. And so I turned to the one person I know I can count on to be honest with me...my Boo. See, she and I have very different tastes when it comes to most things in life, but no matter what I know she'll be honest with me.
So, we had a discussion. I feel that the term "sexy" is sort of one of those generic terms simply because it can encompass so many different facets of life. From men (another topic Boo and I don't share the same taste in) to shoes, sexiness is one of those things that is open to interpretation.
To some, sexy means satin, lace, and candlelight. To others, it could be a tight pair of jeans, a low cut shirt, and a pair of heels. In the course of this conversation (and a subsequent one with a man of very distinguished taste), it occurred to me what sexy really is. Sexy isn't a particular look or thought. Sexy is what you emit when you are comfortable with who you are. While some women may use satin and lace to emit that sexy vibe, I'm the woman who feels sexier in a man's flannel shirt, a pair of panties and some socks.
What I've realized in this whole process is that it doesn't matter what a person wears...the outfit itself isn't what's sexy. Sexy is what that person feels and if a person feels good about themselves in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, then why force them to feel uncomfortable in anything else?
Sexy is a mindset, a feeling, a vibe and sexy comes from being confident in who you are. Someone once told me that they thought I was sexy simply because I emitted confidence. I thought they were full of shit. I have very little self-confidence. However, I've been told more recently that I seem to know what looks good on me (colors, styles, fabrics). And when I wear the things that make me feel good, I have more confidence. And in the cycle of this whole monotonous affair, if I have confidence, I am putting this sexy vibe out there for the world to see.
So, let me just say: What you do or do not find sexy is your opinion. It's your call, but shaming someone for not feeling the same way you do...that is not acceptable! A woman may feel very sexy wearing her man's flannel shirt and nothing else. For me, it's sliding my arms into the shirtsleeves that my guy has worn and smelling the scent of him on the fabric. On the other side of the coin, satin and lace may feel sexy to someone else. The gloss of the fabric or the smoothness against a person's skin can have an appeal.
In the same way that Boo and I don't share the same taste in men, pizza toppings, or other of Life's more interesting topics, we can also celebrate the uniqueness we share as "thick girls." Will every man fall at our feet in worship? God, let's hope not. Not everyone has to have the same taste. God, can you imagine how boring this world would be if we all found the same type of person appealing? Life is about variety and variety is a good thing! So, put on that satin tank or that t-shirt/hoodie and rock it hard, sis!
In the same way that I won't shame you for wearing the clothes/shoes/lingerie/hair color/nail polish that give you confidence, I expect that same treatment in return. As my Boo is so fond of saying, "You do you, Boo!" And when you do you, you will radiate confidence and confidence is sexy as hell!