This blog is usually about learning self-love and the journey we are on to get there. Today, however, my heart is aching.
20 years ago, I took my dogs out, settled in to watch tv, and got ready for bed. I crawled in to my king-size bed next to my now ex-husband with dogs snuggled between us and fell into a peaceful slumber.
When I woke up, the radio was talking about a plane flying into the Twin Towers and all I could think was, "This is an awful joke!" Then, I got up to turn on the tv to see what Katie Couric had to say and I watched in horror. I watched the world I dreamed of raising children in become a place of nightmares. We dragged our mattress into the living room and set up a comfortable place to feel safe inside our home. We took the dogs out and the highway in front of our house was silent. The sky overhead was devoid of aircraft. And the world was still.
20 years have passed and so many changes have been made. I am now divorced. The husband is now an ex. The dogs have all crossed the Rainbow Bridge. And I'm on my own in a world gone mad. I have an amazing man who is fighting a couple of battles overseas while I sit here and pray like I haven't prayed in the last 20 years.
20 years... and I look around at my personal growth. I look at the world as a whole. I feel like we've forgotten the sacrifices, the unification, the solidarity that we felt on 9/12. Amidst the horror and the devastation, we remembered that we were all Americans.
I was raised with pride in the American flag. I had someone explain to me just the other day why he doesn't care for the flag and what it represents to him. I didn't tell him he was wrong or disparage him for his beliefs. He's allowed to feel how he wants to feel. However, this man thought he needed to argue with me when I said, "I can appreciate what it must mean to you." Trust me, this isn't an argument anyone wants to have with me. My daddy fought for that freedom. The man of discerning taste is still fighting for that freedom.
The American flag means a lot to me. Those 13 stripes and 50 stars are more than a few pieces of fabric and thread. The men I've loved most have signed their names on dotted lines to defend that flag and the people who live under it. They stood/stand tall in their beliefs and they make sacrifices for it. And when they die, the American flag will be draped over their coffins.
I was raised to be patriotic and to stand for what I believe in. I cannot forget what happened 20 years ago and I pray I never do. Because even in a world gone silent, the voices of millions could be heard and flags were flying high on almost every home.
20 years ago, a nation came together and it needs to do so again.